11:21 p.m. - 2011-08-03
the first abuser
The first guy who ever abused me in any way was a guy I dated when I was 17. He wasn't the cutest guy or the smartest but when we first started dating he treated me better than any other boy I had dated up until that point.
We got along good except for one thing: I wouldn't sleep with him. I wasn't ready for sex, and I sure as hell didn't want him to be the first one I had sex with.
So he became verbally abusive to me. Calling me a whore, a cunt, a bitch, fat , useless, stupid, ugly, lazy, a bimbo, a dumbass, crazy etc etc.
I can still remember the first time he hit me. One of my best freinds D who happend to be a guy lived right across the yard from Stupid Boyfreind * sb*
Well D comes over one day and s.b. and I are really ripping into each other verbally, well he was ripping into me and I was sobbing hysterically .
I told him "ok its over, I have had enough I dont need to put up with this shit." Well next thing I know Im being shoved into the wall.
SB gets in my face, grabs a handful of my hair and starts hitting me.
Well the door was not locked and D knocks and bursts into the room. He takes one look at me, and grabs me pulling me behind him, tells me "go to my apartment and lock the door"
When D comes to his apartment Im sitting on the couch just sobbing. I look at him and his face is red, he has a stratch on his face and his knuckles are red.
He tells me that "sb will never hit me again." D protected me, sat on the couch with me and just held me while I sobbed like crazy.
He takes me home and we talk to my mom whose reply is "well Katrina what did you do to deserve it?"
I think that hurt more than anything else did. My mom making me feel as though I deserved to be hit.
As though I wasn't worthy enough to be treated well by a man. Like I deserved to be thrown up against walls and be cussed out and called vulgar names.
No One deserves that
